Math is hard and I ordered too much dirt. Now I have a series of beds that I need to figure out how to plant. I’m working off of two books: The Urban Homesteader and Square Foot Gardening. I don’t have the time or the inclination to try and start seeds indoors (next year, I hope), so I’m drawing plans to figure out what will grow where.

In the meantime, I’m trying to get two water barrels going. I had purchased empties from an ad on Craigslist, which led me to discover a cool business in Maryland and an invitee for school, but realized that the internet plans that abound for this sort of thing aren’t exactly practical. For example, the most popular link, from the city of Bremerton, suggests that you drill a hole and then use a pipe tap to create threads for your faucet. Two issues with this: the big box stores don’t sell the big pipe taps (the kits at Lowe’s and Home Depot all stop at 1/2″) and I’m dubious that the walls of a drum are thick enough to support these threads without collapsing or bursting. Could be wrong.

I went to my local hardware store — Monarch — which is a great store, mostly because the owner is as interested solving problems and will talk through anything with you. (I worry for the long-term health of this store because he is the show).

Our solution: copper faucet, piece screwed in, pieces of rubber to cut as a homemade gasket, and a bolt on the other side. Pictures coming soon.

I also discovered that the lids to the two food-grade water barrels I’d purchased did not come off easily. Apparently you need to tool called a “bung wrench” to get them open. A “bung wrench.” I wish I had taped the conversation I had with the person who answered the phone at Harbor Freight; he could not believe that such a tool existed and that I wasn’t simply making a prank call. The interwebs suggest that you can open the valves with pliers, something I’ll try later.